As you know, my mantra – and one of the first things I told you – was to shave your balls.  However, compared to me, Rodney Dangerfield was feared, so I like to cite other sexperts when I dispense advice. Tomorrow, “She’s Out of My League” opens in theaters nationwide, and essentially provides that same advice, but I panned it, and you probably won’t see it, so I’m calling in someone else with established sexpert credentials to back me up,  His name is Todd Crawford, and he’s 1/2 of the couple that operates swinger (“lifestyle”) website and one of swinging world’s sex party centrals, LoveVoodoo.com Below, I have reprinted, in its entirety, an email sent out by Todd earlier this year enumerating 25 recommendations for guys who swing single to enjoy the swingers scene – the same scene that, a few weeks...
Read more »

As I just wrote on February 22, a female Goldman Sachs Partner, Addy Loudiadis was behind the fraudulent scheme to defraud the world financial community concerning the level of Greece’s debt.  I wrote, “unless the conspiracy theorists are right, and Goldman is above the law, it can’t ...
Read more »

“I can’t even believe that the sexiest man in the world was paying for a prostitute.  I’m ill  – I’m physically ill.” Those are the words of BL, upon hearing the news that  R &B artist D’Angelo had been busted had been busted for trying to pay for it. She continued, “I can only imagine the...
Read more »

. I’m one of those permanent adolescents you hear women complaining about – I’m 47, never been married, no kids, and the longest I lived with a broad was about six weeks, and that’s only if you include the 10 days in the middle of that when some other guy...
Read more »

After I sent the email in my previous post,  “Balls Power,” to BL, I didn’t hear from her for a while.  A little before 8, she sent me a text with nothing but my name, which I assumed was an et tu Brute-ish reaction to my ferocious, ewomasculating email.  I texted...
Read more »

Below is an email I sent today to BL, the hot, 42 YO Bearly Lesbian I have referred to in other posts. The email is fairly self-explanatory, but a little background is in order.  One, the other day, she was trying to talk herself out of “hating men” again as a result of a bad...
Read more »

As the fallout from the Dirty D underage porn prosecution continues, “The Balls Monologues” continues to follow – and actively investigate – the scandal. As I stated in my last post, after unintentionally exposing my readership to potential criminal charges for viewing the picture of Tabatha Jennings sucking the cock of...
Read more »

In my previous post, I noted that I may have unintentionally exposed all of you to picture of an underage girl sucking cock through a glory hole – a girl, no less, who I have had sex with and speculated might not have been18 at the time. I have since undertaken an investigation and it...
Read more »

In a coordinated sweep by the three law enforcement agencies, two associates of Guyinism hero/adversary turned plain-old hero Michael Storm, a/k/a Dirty D, have been arrested for doing porn with a 17 year-old back in 2007. Stephen Chastain was arrested by the Tampa police and Ryan Holtz was arrested by...
Read more »

As readers of “The Balls Monologues” know, I am not a slave to societal convention.  One societal convention is that a movie reviewer is expected to actually see a movie before reviewing it. Obviously, discussing a movie before seeing it is risky business.   A lot of people sounded off on “The Last...
Read more »

A chick I dated – but with whom I could never really work out a price – is making international (what other kind are there these days?) headlines by live-tweeting her abortion. For the record, the chair was not my son – or daughter. Here she is talking about it: I found out about it by...
Read more »

When one thinks of heroism and dignity in connection with Olympics, one thinks of “Chariots of Fire” and Jesse Owens.  One might even think of Tommie Smith and John Carlos doing the Black Power salute in the 1968 Olympics in Mexico City. But then there’s womens’ Olympics. First it was Harding and Kerrigan, now its Mancuso and...
Read more »

No sooner did have to read, and dispense with, a femcentric comment on this site complaining about the skimpy outfits female athletes wear, than I read today that there is a movement afoot – by a chick – to make pole dancing as an Olympic sport. As reported by the O.C.Register, ...
Read more »

Jessica Valenti, the womaniac who runs the Feministing feministing blog was actually granted column space by The Washington Post the other day, brought to my attention by The Spearhead magazine, where she ripped in to fellow women who don’t see misogyny in just about everything. Many of the insightful minds that contribute...
Read more »

Regular readers of the Monologues may recall my post Benedict Arnold Kristof watch, in which I refuted New York Times columnist/mangina Nicholas Kristof’s assertion that Wall Street banks would be better off with more women, and if Lehman Brothers had actually been “Lehman Brothers and Sisters.”  Kristof’s hypothesis was that...
Read more »