I am pleased to announce another addition to The Monologues’ compendium of female public urination. As I noted in Another girl urinates in public!, Ecofeminists are prone to accusing guys of being solely responsible, among the sexes, for despoiling the environment, including by supposedly being the only gender that urinates in public. Of course,...
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The Wall Street Journal recently ran an article describing what The Balls Monologues Guy of the Year, David Tepper (Tepper + balls = $7 billion and Guy of the Year), could purchase with the $7 billion his hedge fund, Appaloosa Management, earned in 2009 (What Is on David Tepper’s Holiday Gift List This Year?, December...
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David, As the “voice” beyind Guyinism, including its “The Balls Monologues” blog, I am pleased to announce that, largely as a result of your financial success and brass ball rubbing this year, you have been named The Balls Monologues Guy of the Year for 2009. In fact, since the blog only got started...
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Today was the annual obituary episode of CBS Sunday Morning, which I annually wake up early (for me) to watch, misty-eyed, as Charles Osgood memorializes the luminaries that died over the past year. This year, as you know, we lost the likes of Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Senator Edward M. Kennedy. I have an obituary of...
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My parents got me a birthday card this year which read, “Son, No Matter how old you get, you’ll be still be …” My response: I appreciate the gift, but … the card reads, “Son, No Matter how old you get,” Kindly find a different card for next year. Love, ...
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According to the Urban Dictionary, a “Tepper” is a set of male genitalia that has been gelded, or had the balls removed. Presumably because he was born a Tepper, New Jersey-based hedge fund manager David Tepper, who I assume does not have a Tepper, keeps a pair of brass balls on his desk, a gift from former employees. Balls...
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No, I’m not planning to OD, nor in any danger of doing so, nor do I shoplift. In an attempt to interrupt the growing guyinist and “mens’ rights” backlash, some feminists have decided that women need to come off as more reasonable when it comes to gender issues. Yes, I know what you are thinking- “‘women’ and ‘reasonable’ in the...
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This was the headline today on Bloomberg: Golf Inc. Pays for Tiger’s Affairs With Millions in Lost Ads Tiger Woods’s indiscretions will cascade through Golf Inc., costing the PGA Tour, television networks such as CBS and merchandise vendors like Nike Inc. $220 million or more in lost revenue. The article the headline relates to is...
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Al Sharpton reportedly took a guyinism-tinged stab at Tiger today for not fucking black women: http://www.celebjihad.com/celeb-jihad/al-sharpton-blasts-tiger-woods-for-lack-of-mistress-diversity
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DirkJohanson issued an official statement on behalf concerning the Tiger Woods sex controversy to the New York Times: “This case once again vividly demonstrates why we need to ban opposite sex marriage. Unfortunately, like so many other great guys, Tiger gave in to the temptation of marrying a beautiful, hot-tempered woman, despite the foolishness of...
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