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	<title>Guyinism, hookers, misandry, sex advice for guys and men, balls monologues, discrimination against guys, legalization of prostitution, mens&#039; rights, men&#039;s rights, &#187; Advice</title>
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		<title>DirkJohanson:  Don&#8217;t Fart Around Chicks. Period.</title>
		<link>http://guyinism.com/dirksxploits/dirkjohanson-dont-fart-around-chicks-period/</link>
		<comments>http://guyinism.com/dirksxploits/dirkjohanson-dont-fart-around-chicks-period/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 21 Nov 2010 16:31:55 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>DirkJohanson</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Advice]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Dating and relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Dirk'sXPloits]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[booty calls]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[facial cumshots]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[facials]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[farting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[FB]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[FBs]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fuck buddies]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fuckbuddies]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Just a Drop]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Roissy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[semen facials]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sex]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[stop toilet odor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[swinger parties]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[swingers parties]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[swinging]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://guyinism.com/?p=1289</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Roissy is currently running a fun column self-explanatorily entitled, &#8220;Time to Fart as a Measure of Relationship Strength.&#8221; In a comment, I took the position that there is never a time to fart around chicks you are or may want to bang.  My anal-ysis (no pun intended, edits in brackets): I appreciate the analysis but I go with a strict no-farting around the girl policy to the extent possible, and I find it very possible by simply taking a shit when I feel the first fart coming on. To counter shit smell permeating the premises, carry single-use packets of Just a Drop. Perhaps because I am the kind of guy that is always overachieving with women – often either admired or envied for dating chicks way hotter than it seems I deserve – I proceed in relationships as if I have little wiggle room, which means no farting (“little” being the operative word – what wiggle room I have I spend trying to and  actually  getting some ass on the side). Also, it is important to keep post-relationship sex in mind. Even if a guy is on the verge of dumping a girl, I am sure most of you will [...]


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		<title>DirkJohanson kicked off Facebook!; Appeals Lifetime Ban</title>
		<link>http://guyinism.com/dirksxploits/dirkjohanson-kicked-off-facebook-appeals-lifetime-ban/</link>
		<comments>http://guyinism.com/dirksxploits/dirkjohanson-kicked-off-facebook-appeals-lifetime-ban/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 28 Sep 2010 01:02:22 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>DirkJohanson</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Advice]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Dirk'sXPloits]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ban]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bukkake]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[David Tepper]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Facebook]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mark Zuckerberg]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Susan Reno]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The Spearhead]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://guyinism.com/?p=1186</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[DirkJohanson's sounds-too-good-to-be-true scheme to become rich and famous by having sex with prostitutes and telling the world about it - and thereby paradoxically not having to pay as many hot chicks for sex anymore ('the Tepper Paradox") - was dealt a serious blow today when he was permanently banned from Facebook.  Recently, DiJo, as he is known by some, had been getting away from writing blog posts, figuring that he had already created a body of literature that speaks for itself, and had ramped his Facebook posting as a social media longer-form alternative to too-short-form-for-his-wisecracks tweets.

DJohanson has appealed the ruling, but 


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		<title>Swingfest 2010 Cancelled</title>
		<link>http://guyinism.com/dirksxploits/swingfest-2010-cancelled/</link>
		<comments>http://guyinism.com/dirksxploits/swingfest-2010-cancelled/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 18 Jul 2010 21:05:55 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>DirkJohanson</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Advice]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Dirk'sXPloits]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[caliente]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[group sex]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[orgies]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[swingers]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[swingfest]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[swinging]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://guyinism.com/?p=1046</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[For those of you who have been incredibly jealous looking at the banner ad for Swingfest on my site, now removed, you don&#8217;t have to be as jealous.  Swingfest 2010, scheduled for next weekend in Orlando, has been canceled, so you don&#8217;t have to think about more than 10,000 people having group sex in one hotel and you not being there. Of course, many of those people will simply orgy elsewhere next weekend.  In fact, I first learned of the cancellation when I received an email announcing replacement parties at the nearby Tampa Bay Area Caliente Resort.  Still, some will not choose to go to Caliente &#8211; or have group sex at all, for that matter &#8211; so you can feel better than if Swingfest were going on. And for those of you who were going to go to Swingfest, go to Caliente instead.  Hopefully, I&#8217;ll find a date, and end up banging your wife or girlfriend, but only if she&#8217;s hot. Click on pen to var showHover=false; No related posts. Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin. Write a quick comment


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		<title>AssPrudence</title>
		<link>http://guyinism.com/dirksxploits/assprudence/</link>
		<comments>http://guyinism.com/dirksxploits/assprudence/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 22 Apr 2010 23:39:41 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>DirkJohanson</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Advice]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Dating and relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Dirk'sXPloits]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Dear Prudence]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Debby Herbenick]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Emily Yoffe]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Heather Rupp]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Kinsey Institute]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Prudie]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The Sound of Music]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[vaginismus]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Von Trapp]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://guyinism.com/?p=877</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Slate&#8217;s Prudence, a/k/a Emily Yoffe, is one of the worst of the advice columnists.  The smug-looking cunt&#8217;s advice tends to be both insipid and patently misandrist.  Just as I occasionally give bad advice or say something incorrect, &#8220;Prudie&#8221; occasionally stumbles into saying something intelligent and fair.  Otherwise, she&#8217;s Frau Farbissina brought to life. In one column last year which brought her round and near-universal condemnation from both sexes, Prudie, perhaps revealing her own hygiene habits (or lack thereof), gave a guy shit for questioning whether it was hygienic for his girlfriend to rarely clean or change her bra.   Prudie claimed she &#8220;actually polled some of the cleanest women I know on their bra-washing schedules. The answers ranged from &#8216;weekly&#8217; to &#8216;when my white bras look black and can walk themselves to the washing machine.&#8217;&#8221; I&#8217;d hate to know what the bras of some of the dirtiest women she knows look like. Prudie closed by snapping, &#8220;.. if you want your girlfriend of six months to be your girlfriend six months from now, you will drop the judgmental tone and think of yourself as a lucky explorer of a fascinating, strange land.&#8220;  Apparently, in 2010, Prudie considers any guy who gets [...]


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		<title>Creative Loafing and Me</title>
		<link>http://guyinism.com/sexlationships/creative-loafing-and-me/</link>
		<comments>http://guyinism.com/sexlationships/creative-loafing-and-me/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 04 Apr 2010 21:27:34 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>DirkJohanson</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Advice]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Dating and relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[creative loafing]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[escorts]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[hookers]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Jenny Hendrix]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[payah]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[prostitution]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Ron Jeremy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Taxi parody]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The Erotic Review]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://guyinism.com/?p=831</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I&#8217;ve been trying for some months to get Creative Loafing, an &#8220;underground&#8221; paper which publishes printed editions in Charlotte, Chicago, DC, Atlanta, Tampa, and Sarasota, to feature some of my posts in the Sex &#38; Love portion of its websites, which features about 20 bloggers and commenters on sex, including Dan Savage.  They have about 20 contributors, including at least one swinger, a married female.  They also link to about 10 sex-related websites. CL is a &#8220;progressive&#8221; paper, but I didn&#8217;t think it was that much of a long shot.  Their Tampa edition features dozens of ads from escorts, massage parlors, and even premier &#8220;escort&#8221; review site, The Erotic Review, and CL&#8217;s website has a entire section devoted to escort ads.  I figured the my perspective as a payah would be unique to that type of publication and a natural-tie with their escort and massage parlor advertisers, and that my perspective as a single-guy swinger would be a great complement to their married female swinger. I&#8217;ve emailed, I&#8217;ve called, I&#8217;ve sat in the reception one of their offices, I&#8217;ve tried different personnel.  Nothing. No reply email, not even automated.  No return call.  No &#8220;your blog sucks, go away.&#8221;  Nothing.  Silence. [...]


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		<title>How I Respond to an &#8220;Upsell&#8221;</title>
		<link>http://guyinism.com/dirksxploits/how-i-respond-to-an-upsell/</link>
		<comments>http://guyinism.com/dirksxploits/how-i-respond-to-an-upsell/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 23 Mar 2010 03:51:28 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>DirkJohanson</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Advice]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Dating and relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Dirk'sXPloits]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[TheGuy'sRight2Choose]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[cash and dash]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[escorts]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[hookers]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[upsell]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://guyinism.com/?p=758</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I received an excellent question today from a Monologues reader: &#8220;Cash and Dash is one thing, how about when a girl says,&#8221;oops hours up(after only 30min.) If you want fun it will be another hour 200. then 300. for fun.&#8221; What the hell! What do you do, Lose 200. for nothing or pay 700. for something. From your story I just read you seem to get way better deals,175.-250. Wondering what you would do?&#8221; My response (slightly edited): This type of &#8220;upsell,&#8221; though I don&#8217;t think the word &#8220;upsell&#8221; is truly appropriate to describe the scenario, only happened to me once in an outcall, and it was just a few months ago. The girl was only at my crib a few minutes, wouldn&#8217;t get undressed, and asked for more money, insisting all I would get for the $200 was a PG show. I let her walk out with the $200 rather than pay more money.  There was a driver waiting in a white Dodge Charger downstairs.  If she didn&#8217;t have a driver, let alone one driving that kind of car, I would have probably kicked the living shit out of her until I got my money back.  Something to consider is [...]


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		<title>More Advice You Won&#8217;t Get From Dan Savage</title>
		<link>http://guyinism.com/dirksxploits/more-advice-you-wont-get-from-dan-savage/</link>
		<comments>http://guyinism.com/dirksxploits/more-advice-you-wont-get-from-dan-savage/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 21 Mar 2010 20:09:27 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>DirkJohanson</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Advice]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Dating and relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Dirk'sXPloits]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[escorts]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[hookers]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://guyinism.com/?p=751</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Not much beats the anticipation of waiting for an escort to show up.  Whereas on a date with an amateur I&#8217;m rarely sure I&#8217;m going to get it, and when I&#8217;m with a regular girlfriend I don&#8217;t really much care (been there, done that, can do it just about whenever I want), an escort is virtually a sure thing with strange pussy of my choosing, or at least pussy I don&#8217;t see that often or have ready-access to. Something that surely does beat the anticipation of an escort showing up is when the first escort doesn&#8217;t show up and I have to call a second.  Assuming I haven&#8217;t become so disgusted or run out of time such that I can&#8217;t call another, that second escort is even more greatly anticipated and likely to be the recipient of the contents of even-fuller balls than the first escort would have been. As you can imagine, when the second escort doesn&#8217;t show and I am not too disgusted or out of time or palatable options and call a third escort, the anticipation is even greater, and my balls even fuller, than for the second escort.  In fact, I&#8217;m not even sure I&#8217;ve let [...]


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		<title>Expert:  &#8220;Shave Your Balls&#8221; (x 2)</title>
		<link>http://guyinism.com/dirksxploits/expert-shave-your-balls-x-2/</link>
		<comments>http://guyinism.com/dirksxploits/expert-shave-your-balls-x-2/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 12 Mar 2010 22:15:34 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>DirkJohanson</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Advice]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Dating and relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Dirk'sXPloits]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://guyinism.com/?p=734</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[As you know, my mantra &#8211; and one of the first things I told you &#8211; was to shave your balls.  However, compared to me, Rodney Dangerfield was feared, so I like to cite other sexperts when I dispense advice. Tomorrow, &#8220;She&#8217;s Out of My League&#8221; opens in theaters nationwide, and essentially provides that same advice, but I panned it, and you probably won&#8217;t see it, so I&#8217;m calling in someone else with established sexpert credentials to back me up,  His name is Todd Crawford, and he&#8217;s 1/2 of the couple that operates swinger (&#8220;lifestyle&#8221;) website and one of swinging world&#8217;s sex party centrals, LoveVoodoo.com Below, I have reprinted, in its entirety, and email sent out by Todd earlier this year enumerating 25 recommendations for single guys (or guys who have snuck away from their wives and girlfriends and showed up at a swingers party or club alone)  to enjoy the swingers scene &#8211; the same scene that, a few weeks ago, Dan Savage negligently advised single guys they could not gain entry to.  As you can see, not one but two of Todd&#8217;s recommendations, #s 4 and 20, are that guys shave our balls &#8211; its so important, he [...]


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		<title>Movie Review: &#8220;She&#8217;s Out of My League&#8221;</title>
		<link>http://guyinism.com/theguysright2choose/movie-review-shes-out-of-my-league/</link>
		<comments>http://guyinism.com/theguysright2choose/movie-review-shes-out-of-my-league/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 27 Feb 2010 15:58:43 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>DirkJohanson</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Advice]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Dating and relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[TheGuy'sRight2Choose]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[balls]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[hookers]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Jay Baruchel]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[moodle]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[shave]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[She's Out of My League]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[testicles]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://guyinism.com/?p=621</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[As readers of &#8220;The Balls Monologues&#8221; know, I am not a slave to societal convention.  One societal convention is that a movie reviewer is expected to actually see a movie before reviewing it. Obviously, discussing a movie before seeing it is risky business.   A lot of people sounded off on &#8220;The Last Temptation of Christ&#8221; before seeing it, and then later found out it wasn&#8217;t as offensive to them as they had expected. I&#8217;ll take my chances, anyway. The guy lead in &#8220;She Out of My League&#8221;  is a gamma guy played by Jay Baruchel, referred to by his friends as a &#8220;moodle&#8221; ( i.e., a man-poodle. &#8220;women like to walk the moddle, feed the moodle, play with the moodle, but they never do the moodle&#8220;).  The moodle introduces his friends to the hot chick lead, and they immediately speculate that because she&#8217;s so hot,  she must be  a hooker.  As such, the scene is a great advertisement for hookers &#8211; my passion.  That&#8217;s the positive. Here are the negatives.  In a scene borrowing from &#8220;The 40 Year Old Virgin&#8221; and perhaps &#8220;The Balls Monologues,&#8221;  the character portrayed by Baruchel shaves his balls  &#8211; with the assistance of another guy.  [...]


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		<title>DirkJohanson&#8217;s Valentine&#8217;s Tips</title>
		<link>http://guyinism.com/advice/dirkjohansons-valentines-tips/</link>
		<comments>http://guyinism.com/advice/dirkjohansons-valentines-tips/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 12 Feb 2010 17:17:18 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>DirkJohanson</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Advice]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://guyinism.com/?p=417</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Gifts: You don&#8217;t have to go to the mall for it, and its virtually free.  The ideal Valentine&#8217;s gift, for you guys that don&#8217;t have them already:  shaved balls. Like the best Valentine&#8217;s gifts (crotchless lingerie comes to mind here), its really a gift for you. I realize the dilemma many of you face &#8211; been there myself, years ago.  You want to cheat with hot young chicks &#8211; or want to cheat with more hot young chicks than you&#8217;re already cheating with, and you now realize &#8211; perhaps due to what I have been preaching &#8211; that you will have more repeat cheating opportunities with hot young chicks if you have shaved balls. On the other hand, how do you explain to your wife or girlfriend that you decided to shave your balls, without even asking her first.  And, of course, you don&#8217;t want to have to ask her first because there&#8217;s a chance, possibly as a strategy to keep you away from hot cheatees, she&#8217;ll tell you not to shave. That&#8217;s why Valentine&#8217;s Day presents the best opportunity of the year to start shaving your balls.  Do it. She won&#8217;t suspect. Speaking of ball shaving, Dan Savage blew [...]


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