Dirk’sXPloits

I fucked a chick more than 20 years ago when she was 18, so freshly after having given birth that while I was banging her, she was lactating so voluminously it looked like I’d already fired off a giant wet load on her chest.  She went on to become a stripper, got married, had...
Read more »

Check out this obituary for porn legend John Leslie. Its so detailed, I feel like I went to his wake – and his funeral. And here, I thought that when I was younger, that if I went into porn, I’d lose all my friends. Here he is, in some vintage work, with Nina Hartley: ...
Read more »

I met Gary Dell’Abate of the Howard Stern show this evening while he was promoting his book, They Call Me Baba Booey, and talked to him about my blog.  He said he would check it out. So, Gary, in case you do read it, here are some of my best posts: My baby turned...
Read more »

Roissy is currently running a fun column self-explanatorily entitled, “Time to Fart as a Measure of Relationship Strength.” In a comment, I took the position that there is never a time to fart around chicks you are or may want to bang.  My anal-ysis (no pun intended, edits in brackets): I appreciate the analysis...
Read more »

Roissy’s been bombarding my email inbox with some of his old posts recently, presumably his classics, which most of them are.  One I recently received was called Perverted Porn, in which he analyzed (no pun intended) various exotic porn genres, including, but not limited to, drinking cum out of a glass (Grossout rating 8,...
Read more »

Its getting to be that time of the year again where we need to start thinking about the 2010 Balls Monologues Guy of the Year.  Last year, the award went to hedge fund manager David Tepper, who made about $7 billion in 2009, starting each day by rubbing a pair of brass testicles for...
Read more »

As my regular readers – or anyone who cares to scroll slightly – know, I was recently banned from Facebook. I received some bad news today: from The Facebook Team <appeals+5t3rbg@support.facebook.com> reply-to The Facebook Team <appeals+5t3rbg@support.facebook.com> to dirkjohanson@guyinism.com date Mon, Oct 4, 2010 at 7:19 PM subject Re: My Personal Profile was Disabled signed-by...
Read more »

DirkJohanson's sounds-too-good-to-be-true scheme to become rich and famous by having sex with prostitutes and telling the world about it - and thereby paradoxically not having to pay as many hot chicks for sex anymore ('the Tepper Paradox") - was dealt a serious blow today when he was permanently banned from Facebook. Recently, DiJo,...
Read more »

David, I wrote a review of your of your iconic interview on CNBC.  You can read my review by clicking here. Thought you might enjoy it.  After seeing you both go and say, “balls to the walls” on live global television, it is clearer to me than ever that you were the ideal selection...
Read more »

If you are in the Tampa Bay/Sarasota area and want to be an Eskimo Brother to Tiger Woods by having fucked the same woman, porn star Devon James is looking to get laid, and willing to do so for only $180.  Here’s her current ad, on backpage: Be aware, however, that James was recently...
Read more »