A lot of guys take up golf to get away from their pestering wives. Inevitably, many of these same wives soon take up golf, and so the guy has to then take up another “hobby” so disgusting and otherwise unpleasant there is no way his wife will want to do that, too. So these...
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Roissy is currently running a fun column self-explanatorily entitled, “Time to Fart as a Measure of Relationship Strength.” In a comment, I took the position that there is never a time to fart around chicks you are or may want to bang. My anal-ysis (no pun intended, edits in brackets): I appreciate the analysis...
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Let porn producer Ricky James, who is in the process of putting together the Seinfeld porn parody, Stienfeel, that I’ve applied for hook you up at the Baja 1000 this weekend. Party bar hop from Paris de Noche to Anthony’s to Poker Face to Charles with a hot Chica escort all night for just...
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Roissy’s been bombarding my email inbox with some of his old posts recently, presumably his classics, which most of them are. One I recently received was called Perverted Porn, in which he analyzed (no pun intended) various exotic porn genres, including, but not limited to, drinking cum out of a glass (Grossout rating 8,...
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In a move that will surely shock some of the initiated, though not regular readers of The Balls Monologues, DirkJohanson (uh, real name – yes, its my real name. Really) has endorsed a woman in a race against a sorry-excuse-for-a-guy for a seat in the United States Senate. Today, DirkJo formally endorsed Linda McMahon,...
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First, listen to his lame come ons. Is this how a Hall of Fame NFL quarterback – or even a backup NFL quarterback – should be talking to a woman? He’s a wuss! Show some balls, guy! You’re one of the greatest quarterbacks that ever lived. You’re the Brett something that was with Mary...
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Its getting to be that time of the year again where we need to start thinking about the 2010 Balls Monologues Guy of the Year. Last year, the award went to hedge fund manager David Tepper, who made about $7 billion in 2009, starting each day by rubbing a pair of brass testicles for...
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Most of Canada’s prostitution laws were struck down today. Details here!!!!!! The decision is on appeal. In the meantime, I’m going to start looking for cheap rentals in Ontario. Congratulations to the plaintiffs, Valerie Scott, Terri-Jean Bedford, and Amy Lebovitch! I hereby grant you honorary balls! Click on pen to var showHover=false; Bookmark on...
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In perhaps the most eagerly-awaited interview on CNBC since the 2008 Warren Buffett interview in the aftermath of the Lehman Brothers collapse, hedge fund legend, minority owner of the Pittsburgh Steelers, and the Monlogues’ 2009 “Guy of the Year” granted a rare interview to CNBC yesterday. His rock star qualities – albeit, bald, New...
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If you are in the Tampa Bay/Sarasota area and want to be an Eskimo Brother to Tiger Woods by having fucked the same woman, porn star Devon James is looking to get laid, and willing to do so for only $180. Here’s her current ad, on backpage: Be aware, however, that James was recently...
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