DirkJohanson Auditioning to be Porn’s Cosmo Kramer
I have been granted an audition for the Stienfeel porn parody! On Tuesday, Producer Ricky James (real alias), having reviewed The Balls Monologues, invited me to “audition on a hot Mexican girl.” The audition will occur Labor Day week in Ensenada, Mexico.
This could be my big break, especially since James is looking for fresh faces, a perfect fit for my short porn resume and porn-version-of-Seinfeld-character real-world- likeness. Though I’m not religious, I believe I may have registered a porn star first by placing a note in Western Wall in Jerusalem on Wednesday praying for my success in obtaining the role. In fact, if I get the part, I may credit the note for my landing the role and get religious, but not until the conclusion of the 13 episode shoot, which I imagine calls for the Kramer character to have sex with at least about 40 women.
Wish me luck – whoever gets the role will get paid $26,000, while sex with 40 women would cost me about $8,000, a difference of $34,000 before taxes.
Details to follow.
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