DirkJohanson on Semen Facials

August 25, 2009

The Sexist is a prominent female-authored blog. http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/blogs/sexist/2009/08/24/semen-facials-are-like-weddings/ In her current post, author Amanda Hess, reflecting on the usual ruminations of feminists, compares facials to weddings, stating,

“facials are like weddings. We all know that the institution of marriage is one of the patriarchy’s all-time greatest hits, in which women are sold into sexual slavery from father to husband in exchange for livestock. And yet, who derives the greatest joy from weddings? Women! It’s the craziest thing. But even though we all know that weddings were clearly institutionalized to facilitate the willing subjugation of women, feminists figure out a way to do it anyway. Why? Probably because even though we all know it’s sexist as fuck, weddings—like facial ejaculation—still make some people happy (emphasis original).”

Dirk’s comments on the article, which were posted at the above link, are also reproduced below:

I love, love, love giving facials, but only, only, only when the girl I am with wants one. I love giving facials because they make me feel hot, and I love licking my own cum off the girl’s face and kissing her with cum on both of our lips – so when I give a facial, the girl isn’t the only one ending up with the cum on her face – so much for domination.

And I love it when a girl squirts on my face, too, because it makes her feel hot and it makes me feel soaked in sex, just like when a girl soaks my balls with her cum, which I like, too, and also like licking hot chicks’ asses – not just rimming but actually fucking their asses with my tongue – so who’s dominating who?

I only purposely give a facial when the girl has clearly indicated that she wants one, and have known several girls that insist that I cum on their faces even when I am ready to blow my load somewhere else. The first time I came on a girl’s face, she had been motioning and verbally hinting for me to do it for months, and soon thereafter, she would position herself when I was about to cum to make sure she got every drop even when I was clearly content to cum elsewhere. Another girl I dated like to swap my cum, including with other girls whose faces I was cumming on in threesomes or foursomes, but one of those other girls, during a foursome at a swinger’s club, would not position herself next to my girlfriend and insisted she get all of my cum, a request which I obliged. While I was about to unload, my girlfriend was fingering this girl’s ass, something, in combination with the facial I administered, which caused the girl to squirting all over me while the scene was going down, and I had another girlfriend who, like clockwork, simultaneously released whenever I would cum on her. Since I like cumming on a girl’s face because it makes me feel hot, I do not want to cum on a girl’s face unless she wants me to.

I have better orgasms when I cum on a girl’s face since I know I am free to blow my load to my heart’s content, whereas when a girl asks me to cum on her tits but not on her face, I am always worried that I might not have the best aim and will end up cumming on her face, too. Since this often happens, I hold back when I cum on tits and don’t cum with as much force and often feel like, and still actually have, another load in me waiting to imminently come out. Simply put, when I cum on tits, I don’t feel nearly as finished as when I cum on a face or when a girl wants me to cum in her mouth. And I feel genuinely badly when I cum in a girl’s eye because it stings so badly.

That having been said, that brings up weddings. As much as I like cumming on girls’ faces, I would give it up forever – and never once cum on another girl’s face – in exchange for a ban on opposite sex marriage. An opposite sex marriage ban is one of the precepts of Guyinism, of which I am Founder.

So much for the patriarchy theory. Sorry, but with the up-front exchange of livestock out of the equation, opposite sex marriage just doesn’t work anymore. It gets in the way of hot sex. Without the specter of marriage and all its complications, even the semen-facial loving bisexual girls I know seem to get down and dirty more casually with fellow girls.

Silly girls – in the 21st century, except for guys who are lucky to have anyone at all, weddings are for girls. And so are a damn lot of semen facials. Stop thinking so much, and lets just have fun.

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