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	<title>Guyinism, hookers, misandry, sex advice for guys and men, balls monologues, discrimination against guys, legalization of prostitution, mens&#039; rights, men&#039;s rights,</title>
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		<title>DirkJohanson Auditioning to be Porn&#8217;s Cosmo Kramer</title>
		<link>http://guyinism.com/dirksxploits/dirkjohanson-auditioning-to-be-porns-cosmo-kramer/</link>
		<comments>http://guyinism.com/dirksxploits/dirkjohanson-auditioning-to-be-porns-cosmo-kramer/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 27 Aug 2010 15:01:46 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>DirkJohanson</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Dirk'sXPloits]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Cosmo Kramer]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[George Costanza]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Jerry Seinfeld]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Kramer]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[porn audition]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[porn parody]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[porn Seinfeld]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Ricky James]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Seinfeld]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Stienfeel]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://guyinism.com/?p=1110</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I have been granted an audition for the Stienfeel porn parody!  On Tuesday, Producer Ricky James (real alias), having reviewed The Balls Monologues, invited me to &#8220;audition on a hot Mexican girl.&#8221;  The audition will occur Labor Day week in Ensenada, Mexico. This could be my big break, especially since James is looking for fresh faces, a perfect fit for my short porn resume and porn-version-of-Seinfeld-character real-world- likeness.   Though I&#8217;m not religious, I believe I may have registered a porn star first by placing a note in Western Wall in Jerusalem on Wednesday praying for my success in obtaining the role.  In fact, if I get the part, I may credit the note for my landing the role and get religious, but not until the conclusion of the 13 episode shoot, which I imagine calls for the Kramer character to have sex with at least about 40 women. Wish me luck &#8211; whoever gets the role will get paid $26,000, while sex with 40 women would cost me about $8,000, a difference of $34,000 before taxes. Details to follow. Related posts:Attention Fat Guys with Huge Cocks: Now Casting for &#8220;Stienfeel&#8221; A Seinfeld-themed porn parody, Stienfeel, is in the works. Fuhgettabout... [...]


Related posts:<ol><li><a href='http://guyinism.com/uncategorized/attention-fat-guys-with-huge-cocks-now-casting-for-stienfeel/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: Attention Fat Guys with Huge Cocks:  Now Casting for &#8220;Stienfeel&#8221;'>Attention Fat Guys with Huge Cocks:  Now Casting for &#8220;Stienfeel&#8221;</a> <small>A Seinfeld-themed porn parody, Stienfeel, is in the works. Fuhgettabout...</small></li>
<li><a href='http://guyinism.com/dirksxploits/dirty-d-associates-arrested-dirkjohansons-porn-comeback-in-jeopardy-guys-across-tampa-bay-hunkering-down/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: DIRTY D ASSOCIATES ARRESTED, DIRKJOHANSON&#8217;S PORN COMEBACK IN JEOPARDY, GUYS ACROSS TAMPA BAY HUNKERING DOWN, Chile Quake Toll Tops 700'>DIRTY D ASSOCIATES ARRESTED, DIRKJOHANSON&#8217;S PORN COMEBACK IN JEOPARDY, GUYS ACROSS TAMPA BAY HUNKERING DOWN, Chile Quake Toll Tops 700</a> <small>In a coordinated sweep by the three law enforcement agencies,...</small></li>
<li><a href='http://guyinism.com/dirksxploits/dirkjohanson-honored-by-the-sexist/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: DirkJohanson honored by &#8220;The Sexist&#8221;'>DirkJohanson honored by &#8220;The Sexist&#8221;</a> <small>DirkJohanson was honored yesterday by Amanda Hess with five out of 13 &#8221;comments...</small></li>
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		<title>An American Guyinist in Paris</title>
		<link>http://guyinism.com/dirksxploits/an-american-guyinist-in-paris/</link>
		<comments>http://guyinism.com/dirksxploits/an-american-guyinist-in-paris/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 23 Aug 2010 20:53:28 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>DirkJohanson</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Dirk'sXPloits]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[TheGuy'sRight2Choose]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[France]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[French]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[guyinism]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[hookers]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[L'Ecole de la Seduction]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Paris]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[prostitutes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[prostitution]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Roissy]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://guyinism.com/?p=1095</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I&#8217;m in Paris for about three days, with some time to kill. How did this come to be?  Its complicated, but its really ultimately simple.  The simple explanation is that I&#8217;m single.  Being single means I can have time to kill in places like Paris, not having to be on someone else&#8217;s agenda, schlepping through overpriced stores to buy the same stuff you can get at home for less.  Its like living the gay lifestyle, albeit a little lonelier, but without the disgusting anal sex. And what does a guyinist do in Paris with time to kill?  I know what you&#8217;re thinking.  A married guyinist with time to kill would be doing hookers.  But a single guyinist?  Yes, I am staying in a red light district (bordering, if not in, Pigalle), but a single guyinist has plenty of hookers at home he can do.  There&#8217;s no need to waste precious time in Paris getting ass that can be gotten back at home, where if I like the ass, it&#8217;ll be around for me to have again and again. For a guy from Tampa, doing hookers in Paris is sort of like a guy traveling from Paris to Tampa to sample [...]


Related posts:<ol><li><a href='http://guyinism.com/dirksxploits/study-antibodies-prevent-stds/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: Study:  Antibodies Prevent STDs'>Study:  Antibodies Prevent STDs</a> <small>In a more-than-three-decade long bombshell study, laboratories have confirmed that...</small></li>
<li><a href='http://guyinism.com/dirksxploits/when-i-most-expect-it/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: When I Most Expect it'>When I Most Expect it</a> <small>People are always saying you&#8217;re going to meet someone when...</small></li>
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		<item>
		<title>DirkJohanson on the &#8220;Ground Zero&#8221; mosque</title>
		<link>http://guyinism.com/dirksxploits/dirkjohanson-on-the-ground-zero-mosque/</link>
		<comments>http://guyinism.com/dirksxploits/dirkjohanson-on-the-ground-zero-mosque/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 17 Aug 2010 00:33:43 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>DirkJohanson</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Dating and relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Dirk'sXPloits]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Giuliani]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ground zero mosque]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[guyinism]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[guyinists]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[payah]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[payahs]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Rudy Giuliani]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[semen stains]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[windowless peeps]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://guyinism.com/?p=1084</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Like many cities, New York City has a zoning regulation that prohibits adult businesses from being within 500 feet of a place of worship. I cut my payah teeth in a peep show within 500 feet of the proposed ain&#8217;t exactly at Ground Zero mosque. For just a 50 cent token, a window would open up, through which I would give hot chicks just one more dollar in order to fondle their breasts for a minute or so. &#8220;$1.50 Breast&#8221; is what I would call it, and for just a few bucks more, a guy could get more. For instance, another $1 and you could be feeling the chicks&#8217; ass. For added stimulation &#8211; not that a younger DirkJohanson needed it -  sometimes there were a couple people fucking on the floor of the room the naked chicks were in.  Even without the people fucking, I would frequently leave $1.50 Breast with large, Peter North-sized, wet semen stains on my pants, as I embarassingly slithered through the crowded downtown streets onto the subway. $1.50 Breast as I knew it is gone. Last I checked, there was still porn at that location, but no more windowless peeps, gone since Mayor Rudy [...]


Related posts:<ol><li><a href='http://guyinism.com/dirksxploits/more-dirkjohanson-on-semen-facials/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: More DirkJohanson on Semen Facials'>More DirkJohanson on Semen Facials</a> <small>Quite a lively debate ensued for a couple of weeks...</small></li>
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		<title>Attention Fat Guys with Huge Cocks:  Now Casting for &#8220;Stienfeel&#8221;</title>
		<link>http://guyinism.com/uncategorized/attention-fat-guys-with-huge-cocks-now-casting-for-stienfeel/</link>
		<comments>http://guyinism.com/uncategorized/attention-fat-guys-with-huge-cocks-now-casting-for-stienfeel/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 14 Aug 2010 04:47:41 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>DirkJohanson</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Costanza]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Cuntstanza]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Kramer]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Newman]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[parody]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[porn]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Seinfeld]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Stienfeel]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://guyinism.com/?p=1079</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[A Seinfeld-themed porn parody, Stienfeel, is in the works. Fuhgettabout the George Cuntstanza role:  I&#8217;ll eat my balls if it doesn&#8217;t end up going to Ron Jeremy.  But it looks like one of you guys may have a shot at the Newman character.  Check out the description below &#8211; the producers don&#8217;t appear optimistic they can find anyone, so if you&#8217;re a disgusting pig under 45 with a 10&#8243; or bigger cock, this is your shot!  You can always diet later &#8211; or not, since you&#8217;ll be getting paid for getting laid, anyway. It looks like I may be s/o/l.  I&#8217;m often compared to Jerry, but while I&#8217;m loathe to admit it, I&#8217;ve got a lot of George in me.   Unfortunately, though, my 9 1/2&#8243; cock is too big for the Jerry part. Today someone compared me to Kramer &#8211; first time I heard that comparison.  But what I want to know first is, how old are those MILFs he&#8217;s going to have to fuck? In the meantime, I&#8217;ll send in my portfolio. Contact Phone: 702-421-0822 Job Location: Las Vegas NV Contact by date: 2010-09-30 Job Details We are now casting for &#8220;STIENFEEL&#8221; our new Adult Parody Series of the [...]


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		<item>
		<title>When I Most Expect it</title>
		<link>http://guyinism.com/dirksxploits/when-i-most-expect-it/</link>
		<comments>http://guyinism.com/dirksxploits/when-i-most-expect-it/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 07 Aug 2010 15:21:28 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>DirkJohanson</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Dating and relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Dirk'sXPloits]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[hookers]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[meet someone when you least expect it]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[prostitutes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[prostitution]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[when you least expect it]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[you will meet someone when you least expect it]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://guyinism.com/?p=1070</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[People are always saying you&#8217;re going to meet someone when you least expect it.  Maybe that works for girls.  For guys, its a canard.  Most of us have to work at it hard to meet a girl. When I least expect it?  Please.  I used to least expect I meet a chick while taking a dump at a filthy crowded stadium bathroom.  After all, where could I be less likely to meet the woman of my dreams.  Meanwhile, I&#8217;m closing in on 48, and while a friend of mine&#8217;s girlfriend once opened the door on me while I was shitting in college and insisted on watching, that was a co-ed bathroom in a dormitory &#8211; I kind of expected I&#8217;d get walked in on sooner or later.  In a filthy stadium bathroom, I don&#8217;t think I&#8217;ve ever seen a chick, let alone gotten to know a hot one while on the bowl. Maybe the problem is that, due to the saying &#8220;when I least expect,&#8221;  I soon came to expect that I would meet a chick while on the bowl of a crowded stadium bathroom.   The saying is a vicious cycle that way, making it all the more of a [...]


Related posts:<ol><li><a href='http://guyinism.com/dirksxploits/how-i-respond-to-an-upsell/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: How I Respond to an &#8220;Upsell&#8221;'>How I Respond to an &#8220;Upsell&#8221;</a> <small>I received an excellent question today from a Monologues reader:...</small></li>
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		<title>ALDI:  Drive, Energy, Intelligence, Strong Work Ethic, Reliability, and a Craving for Your Best Friend&#8217;s Pussy?</title>
		<link>http://guyinism.com/sexlationships/aldi-drive-energy-intelligence-strong-work-ethic-reliability-and-a-craving-for-your-best-friends-pussy/</link>
		<comments>http://guyinism.com/sexlationships/aldi-drive-energy-intelligence-strong-work-ethic-reliability-and-a-craving-for-your-best-friends-pussy/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 25 Jul 2010 21:26:46 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>DirkJohanson</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Dating and relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Aldi]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[discriminatory employment ads]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[group sex]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[lesbian orgies]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[lesbianism]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://guyinism.com/?p=1050</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I&#8217;m fascinated by this employment ad for discount supermarket chain ALDI. The ad asks, &#8220;Are you made for ALDI?&#8221; and answers &#8220;It takes a unique person.  Someone who&#8217;s dedicated.  &#8230; And is ready to do what it takes to earn the rewards.&#8221; Judging by the picture, it appears that one of things it doesn&#8217;t take is having balls.  And one of things it does take is willingness to eat a fellow girl&#8217;s pussy in a group setting &#8211; which isn&#8217;t really all that unique these days, my contrary experience in a &#8220;mother teaching teen (she was actually 20)&#8221; threesome I had yesterday notwithstanding. In any event, who&#8217;s quibbling.  The message got through clearly to me, whether intended or not. I&#8217;ll be back shopping at ALDI soon. No related posts. Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.


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		<title>Swingfest 2010 Cancelled</title>
		<link>http://guyinism.com/dirksxploits/swingfest-2010-cancelled/</link>
		<comments>http://guyinism.com/dirksxploits/swingfest-2010-cancelled/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 18 Jul 2010 21:05:55 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>DirkJohanson</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Advice]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Dirk'sXPloits]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[caliente]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[group sex]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[orgies]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[swingers]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[swingfest]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[swinging]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://guyinism.com/?p=1046</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[For those of you who have been incredibly jealous looking at the banner ad for Swingfest on my site, now removed, you don&#8217;t have to be as jealous.  Swingfest 2010, scheduled for next weekend in Orlando, has been canceled, so you don&#8217;t have to think about more than 10,000 people having group sex in one hotel and you not being there. Of course, many of those people will simply orgy elsewhere next weekend.  In fact, I first learned of the cancellation when I received an email announcing replacement parties at the nearby Tampa Bay Area Caliente Resort.  Still, some will not choose to go to Caliente &#8211; or have group sex at all, for that matter &#8211; so you can feel better than if Swingfest were going on. And for those of you who were going to go to Swingfest, go to Caliente instead.  Hopefully, I&#8217;ll find a date, and end up banging your wife or girlfriend, but only if she&#8217;s hot. Related posts:WMC 2010 Roundup As I began writing this post, the escort ad from... Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.


Related posts:<ol><li><a href='http://guyinism.com/dirksxploits/wmc-2010-roundup/' rel='bookmark' title='Permanent Link: WMC 2010 Roundup'>WMC 2010 Roundup</a> <small>As I began writing this post, the escort ad from...</small></li>
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		<title>No Poker Face</title>
		<link>http://guyinism.com/cunt-of-the-week/no-poker-face/</link>
		<comments>http://guyinism.com/cunt-of-the-week/no-poker-face/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 20 Jun 2010 18:34:16 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>DirkJohanson</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Cunt of the Week]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Gender Comparisons]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Alex Rodriguez]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[celibacy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[celibate]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[CitiField]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[hypergamous]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[Jerry Seinfeld]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Lady Gaga]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[New York Mets]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[Sandra Bullock]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[stuck-up]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Yankees]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://guyinism.com/?p=1033</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Like so many women these days, particularly those in their late 30s and their 40s who are losing their looks, Lady Gaga has been publicly proclaiming that she is celibate.  She claims its because she&#8217;s doesn&#8217;t have time to get to know anyone. It turns out that Gaga is full of caca &#8211; like nearly all women that claim they are celibate, she&#8217;s just hypergamous, and couldn&#8217;t really care less about getting to know anyone before sex if they are of sufficient status.  As reported by the New York Post, the not-all-that-hot-looking Gaga&#8217;s desire to fuck out of her league has caused her to be banned from the New York Yankee clubhouse as a result of spending about half an hour Friday night stripping and fondling her breasts in an attempt to get summarily fucked by ballers she doesn&#8217;t know other than as guys she sees on TV. In fact, Gaga&#8217;s lack of knowledge of the ballers was particularly evident considering one of the guys she hit on was 34 year-old Alex Rodriguez, who is known for focusing his dating &#8211; and even marrying &#8211; women older than he is.  Gaga is only 24. The incident occurred after a game [...]


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		<title>FIFA Fabrications</title>
		<link>http://guyinism.com/theguysright2choose/fifa-fabrications/</link>
		<comments>http://guyinism.com/theguysright2choose/fifa-fabrications/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 20 Jun 2010 17:03:31 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>DirkJohanson</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Gender Comparisons]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[GenderEquity4Guys]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[TheGuy'sRight2Choose]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[FIFA]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[prostitution]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sex slavery]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sex slaves]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[World Cup]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://guyinism.com/?p=1029</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[In an attempt to suppress guys&#8217; sexuality, corral our resources into more expensive alternatives for getting laid that include underwriting the cost of raising their children, and force us to fuck fat and old women, feminist organizations and the MSM that caters to womens&#8217; insatiable consumption routinely exaggerate the amount of sex trafficking.  Some have taken to describing prostitution as &#8220;rape-for-hire.&#8221; Consistent with that scheme, feminist groups and the media have claimed that 40,000 sex slaves were brought to service guys at The World Cup.  According to an article in the Wall Street Journal, and everyone they interviewed, the 40,000 figure is a complete fabrication.  One researcher has even stated that they have not seen a single case of sex trafficking connected to The World Cup.  Another researcher, Marlise Richter of the University of the Witwatersrand in Johannesburg, is confident the 40,000 figure is &#8220;completely ridiculous.&#8221; Of course, sex slavery does exist, but if any of you guys believe that it is a significant phenomena in the United States, you are ill-informed.  Apparently, its not that widespread in Africa, either. Check that.  If, as a husband, you do not service your wife frequently enough or to her satisfaction, she might [...]


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		<title>Nicholas D. Kristof:  Guilty of Guyslaughter?</title>
		<link>http://guyinism.com/benedict-kristof-watch/come-to-think-of-it-donating-a-rat-isnt-a-half-bad-idea/</link>
		<comments>http://guyinism.com/benedict-kristof-watch/come-to-think-of-it-donating-a-rat-isnt-a-half-bad-idea/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 20 Jun 2010 15:27:06 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>DirkJohanson</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Benedict Kristof Watch]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[father's day]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[guyslaughter]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[landmines]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[manslaughter]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Nicholas D. Kristof]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Nicholas Kristof]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[rats]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://guyinism.com/?p=1015</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[As he disclosed in a column released Friday, Nicholas Kristof&#8217;s father has abruptly passed away, and the surviving Kristof is riddled with guilt.  Earlier in the week, the day after his father died but apparently without knowledge of his death, Kristof had suggested that people honor the fathers in their life by sponsoring rats in Africa for Father&#8217;s Day.  To rub it in, I urge all of you to send comments to Kristof&#8217;s later article suggesting he sponsor a rat in memory of his father. Kristof has reason to be guilty:  it appears that  he may be guilty of patricide and manslaughter, or, as I like to call it, &#8220;guyslaughter.&#8221; The elder Kristof actually seemed to be an admirable guy, imprisoned by the Nazis for spying on them on behalf of Austro-Hungary.  At age 80, he still chopped wood as quickly as Nick, though one would naturally expect an 80 year-old guy to chop wood as much as a mangina a generation his junior. Kristof&#8217;s &#8220;donate-a-rat-for-Father&#8217;s Day&#8221; column came out Wednesday &#8211; his father had died Tuesday on the West Coast, but Kristof made no mention of his death in the column, so presumably he hadn&#8217;t yet received word.  I [...]


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