If You Do the Time, You Should At Least Get to Do the Crime

March 17, 2010

Imagine yourself out in a club. You’re a regular guy and you see a group of four hot chicks. You manage to work up the nerve to go over and hit on one of them, and you can’t believe it, but its working. Her friends keep trying to drag her away, but, somehow, she keeps talking to you. They finally leave, and she stays. Maybe because she’s so hot, your drawing upon extra reserves, but its closing time, and somehow – don’t even ask yourself how – she’s actually leaving with you.

Next thing you know, she’s in your bed. Your sperm is everywhere – on her tits, on her face, in her mouth, in your own mouth, on the headboard, even on the kitchen floor. Your balls are soaked from sweat, you feel like you lost ten pounds, and she just keeps coming at you. “Everything DirkJohanson told me about Latinas is true,” you think to yourself. “Except for the fact that there is only one girl, this must be what its like to be Derek Jeter on a typical night,” you conclude. Your only real question: are there any wedding planners in The Bronx?

The next day, you drove her home, and soon afterward there’s a loud knock on the door. She did say something about a psycho ex-boyfriend the night before. What if he has a switch blade? You look through the peep hole, and see cops. “Police! Open up!,” they shout. You open the door, and in a friendly but concerned tone, ask, “Officers, can I help you with something?”

“You’re under arrest! You have the right to remain silent ….”

“What am I being arrested for?”

“Rape!”

“Rape?”

This is sort of what happened to a guy named William McCaffery. In fact, McCaffrey didn’t even get a chance to fuck the broad. He was a perfect gentleman, who ran into a cunt, Biurny Peguero Gonzalez, who took a lot of shit from her friends when she blew them off to go a party with him. Her friends got so pissed, they got into a drunken brawl. In fact, the cat fight was so violent one of the woman’s heels broke a car window, and Gonzalez ended up in a hospital. The “wise Latina woman with the richness of her experiences [who] would more often than not reach a better conclusion than a white male who hasn’t lived that life” blamed it – and more – on McCaffrey.

William McCaffrey, at left: free at last.

Four years of presumably getting his ass-fucked in prison later, in the midst of a 20-year sentence, the cunt recanted after DNA evidence proved her wrong and a priest who she confessed to urged her to come clean. She apparently figured that now that she’d hatched another kid out of wedlock, only three months old, she won’t have to serve any time at all. She figured wrong, but not by much. The prosecution asked for up to 6 years, but as the holder of a pussy pass, she got 1 to 3, and will be eligible for parole in a year. Its actually a long sentence as far as false rape accusations go.

As I commented to The Spearhead, “true justice would tie the length of her incarceration into a multiple of what the guy had to suffer – triple the time seems the minimum appropriate to me. Also, as a fan of creative sentencing, the wrongfully incarcerated guy should be given the option of actually having sex the false accuser. He did time – he may as well get to do the crime.”

Why not? I’m not talking about mistaken identity cases when I suggest this – I’m talking about out-and-out lying about rape cases.

Yes, cruel and unusual punishment is prohibited by the Constitution. However, rape – rape of guys, which is far worse than rape of women for obvious reasons – is already a de facto punishment for even relatively minor offenses, so its certainly not unusual. And allowing a guy to put his dick in a girl who was willing to leave a bar with him can not possibly be described as cruel. Vaginas are where penises are supposed to go. Vaginas get pleasure from penises. How could the mere insertion of a penis in a vagina – absent violence, STD exposure, or other external circumstances – possibly be described as cruel? Especially for a woman who apparently likes penises and isn’t going to get one put in her for at least a year.

: Biurny Peguero Gonzalez – if you rape her, now no one will believe her.

Of course, while there is a good chance that Gonzalez will be sexually assaulted by a prison guard, since, according to the United States Department of Justice, female guards are more likely to commit sexual assaults than their guy colleagues, not only will Gonzalez never have to give it up for McCaffrey, she has female advocates at her side every step of the way. Organizations such as the Florida Association for Women Lawyers (“FAWL”) have expanded to become, in effect, an association for women non-lawyer prisoners, and are now advocating for special treatment of female prisoners to keep them in close proximity to their children.

Of course, the membership of FAWL has two words for a guy like McCaffrey, even if he has kids: “fuck him.” In fact, fucking – fucking Gonzalez, to be more specific – is what McCaffrey should have been given a chance by a court of law to do.

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