Tax Freedom Day, the first day of the year in which the nation as a whole theoretically earned enough income to fund its annual tax burden, fell on May 12 this year.  It took me another two months to get so-called “free” sex – as if an explanation were needed, I call it ”so-called free” because the meal alone last night cost $108.09, or $8.09 more than the total kitty to get blown and fucked by Dimitra Ekmektsis, author of Secret Confessions of a High-Priced Call Girl. 

Don’t feel sorry for me – I’ve had a lot of hot sex this year with probably about 20 different chicks, as often as not less than half my age, some of which is documented in Good sex is worth paying for.  The last girl I banged, about two weeks ago, was 20 at the time, or about 43% of my age, and she stayed four hours, waking me out of my sleep to go a second round which ended with her washing her face.

And I can’t remember the last time I went so far into the year before getting it free – I rang in 2008 with a 20 YO in my bed who I’d banged 3 nights before in my car, topping off a first date which consisted of only two rounds of cocktails in a dive bar. 

And its not like I haven’t had any action.  I didn’t just start 2008 with a bang – I ended it with one, too, or should I say a roll  (Johns by Choice).  In ’09, there’s been plenty of making out, and last week, I slept two nights naked while spooning a hot 30-YO former swingers club resident and ex of mine (and apparently present and possible future of mine, too) - the first of those nights occurred just hours after the aforementioned 2008 New Year’s date rubbed my cock as I was about to get into my car – but there was no penetration, and hasn’t been any penetration of my cock into a girl without a reasonably contemporaneous exchange of money all year (we didn’t do it because she’s a very loud and wild fuck, and her brother was asleep in the next room).

Its the life of Johns by Choice.  We get lazy, we get selective.  In other words, we get empowered.

Some comparisons between last night’s date and Dimitra, the world-renowned call-girl:

On top of last night’s dinner tab, I had to pony up for valet parking and a round of cocktails.  By contrast, Dimitra offered me free bottled water. 

Last’s night date was preceded by two other dates over a month ago, including one which cost over $100, and the effort and expense it took to meet her in a club in the first place.  Also, I had to keep explaining myself to last night’s date as to why I hadn’t called her after our previous date, the details of some of which I wrote about in Meet the Hooker’s Parent.  On the other hand, my date with Dimitra was preceded by four phone calls – two to arrange the date, and two after I arrived at the motel.  OK, seven phone calls, if you count the three calls from a friend of mine emphatically recommending her.

As for companionship, the girl last night is married, lives with her husband, and has no intention of leaving him.  Dimitra is single. 

The girl last night was, again, cross-examining me and making the usual sarcastic comments about my being cheap until I had to confess that I earn less than $100K a year and hate my job.  On the other hand, Dimitra invited me to look at some websites with her after our date, called me later that evening to discuss The Balls Monologues, and told me the most interesting people she knows are her clients.

Sex between Dimitra and I started with Dimitra blowing me.  The first sex with my date last night was nearly two months ago when we made out in the parking lot of a mall and went no further, and the first interaction in my bedroom last night was when my date got on my bed, bent over doggie, clearly expecting me to lick her ass.  She’s cute, but that’s something I only reserved for the cream of the crop, so I passed.

I picked up last night’s date within a few hundred yards of where her husband was fishing, and on the way home, she told me that her friend’s boyfriend pulled a gun on both of them a few days before because he suspected the friend was cheating.  Dimitra is safe.  She doesn’t use a pimp – she doesn’t even use a driver – and she lives across the country in Reno, meaning any jealous boyfriend is likely 3000 miles away.

I’m pretty sure Dimitra is younger.

They both liked the vibrating ring – but it was more of a compliment from Dimitra to love getting fucked from me, since she has wider experience to draw from.

Dimitra broached the idea of my cumming on her face.  The other girl, not.

For what it cost me for my free sex last night, I could have fucked these sisters together in a threesome – TWICE! – at only $200 a session: 

Here’s their ad:  2-sexy-blonde-hair-green-eyed-sisters-2-for-1-special-off-of-275-outcalincall-160-largo-tampa-escorts-backpage_com.mht   

Don’t worry guys – I remain who I’ve always been:  a John by Choice, fighting the good fight for you, contemplating the better use I could have made of the $8.09.

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A regular Monologues reader taught me today about Google Reader, a service which gives you your own webpage loaded with the latest version of your favorite websites, like this one. 

Here is the link to Google Reader, so sign up, and never miss a Monologue.  https://www.google.com/accounts/ServiceLogin?hl=en&nui=1&service=reader&continue=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.com%2Freader

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Chris,

I am writing to follow-up on my call last week about serving as a referring agent for Type9Models.  As I related, I am a practicing attorney looking for a new career, though, truth be told, at $500/girl after the third B/G scene, it doesn’t sound like I should give up my day job if that is the extent of the compensation.  Anyway, that was not my intention, for now, though I suspect that if I could be you for just one year …  If you have a written agreement you generally use and some requirements as far as submitting pictures and such, please send them to me when you have a chance.

You had mentioned there might be other ways I can get involved.  I am fine with making substantially less money in order to have a job in the industry.  I am also free to relocate to Porn Valley.  Actually, for a steady job in the industry, I’d relocate to North Korea.

A bit more about me.  I have a blog, http://guyinism.com , from which you can probably glean a lot about me.

Also, to be real, of course I’d love to be talent, though that was not at all any part of my reason in contacting you, but now that I am writing …..  I know there are no shortage of guys out there who want to be talent, as well, but I’ve attached a picture of myself in action, anyway – what the heck – and, with 16 years in the swinging world and having proven over and over I can go from 0 to 60 with hot hookers less than half my age on a regular basis, I’ve got the wood that it takes to perform – plus, I blow large loads.  And I have experience – I actually got paid $250 to do a scene with my ex about four years ago, but apparently the company went out of business soon after.  The check did clear, though, so I guess I’m officially paid porn talent.

Also, finally, for your convenience, I’m including a link for attorney about the case.  If its too small for his firm, I’m sure he can hook you up, or I’d be happy to provide more recommendations.  Anyway, here he is: 

Hope to hear from you, and in the meantime, I’ll be on the lookout for horny sluts - there is no shortage of them in Tampa. 

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A regular Monologues reader has pointed out that, in an earlier post, I included a link to oodles and oodles of free porn, as in multiple, uninterrupted, 45-minute clips.

I have made the post private for the time being, but here is the link to the oodles and oodles:

http://www.spankwire.com/Sexy-Teen-Swallowing-Strangers-Cum-Loads-/video129233/

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Lori,
 
I need a literary agent.  Its probably not going to be you, since you probably won’t want to be it, but I don’t know where to start.  I’m writing you since you were listed on Rachel Kramer Bussel’s site, and I am trying to be someone like her (or already am but am  A LOT less successful) but I have a cock and balls and I’m a lot cuntier. 
 
I have the outline of a book written, and a substantial amount of the text.  More importantly, I have a blog:  http://guyinism.com   Guys love it.  The book has been years in the making, and many of my thoughts and words were independently conceived by others in the meantime before I decided to switch over to the blog format and get something out there.  Honestly, I don’t know what to do to jumpstart my career, so I’m trying a few things, including writing you.
 
After looking at the blog (please at least glance at the blog – please!), you probably want me dead.  I understand.  Please help me, anyway, if only by referring me to someone who can, which would probably be a guy but it seems like just about everyone whose everyone in writing about sex-related topics is a girl so I haven’t been able to find a guy yet, something especially unsurprising since I don’t know the publishing and publicity industries (my expertise is largely in swinging and doing hookers).
 
I’m not sure a book is the way for me to go – it may be that my first step should be to get a publicist to quarterback building my blog and driving traffic to my site – and frankly, I don’t have the patience to write a book with no advance and hope someone picks it up.  Also, I currently have a full-time job which is getting in the way.
 
I do have some money, and am more than willing, to pay people to help me.  I also probably have a profile-enough career that blowing it up in a blaze of glory to expose my true self and ideas to the world would make good press.  You see, my real name is John Ellis Bush, former Governor of the State of Florida.  Just kidding, but I do have a highly-respectable job.
 
IMO, some of my best posts,  are:
 
http://guyinism.com/?p=6
 
http://guyinism.com/?p=11
 
http://guyinism.com/?p=12
 
http://guyinism.com/?p=13
 
http://guyinism.com/?p=24
 
http://guyinism.com/?p=52
 
http://guyinism.com/?p=55
 
Also, if you are interested in seeing the outline (or whatever it is) of my book, let me know.
 
DirkJohanson

Guys:  Please email Lori Perkins at lperkinsagency@yahoo.com and let her know you think my blog is good.
 

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Tampa Bay Rays affiliate Hudson Valley Renegades are banning guys from the first five innings of their game July 7.  The idea to ban guys from the ballpark was that of Tyler Tumminia, a female executive with the ownership group.  An article concerning this disgraceful episode is at http://www.tampabay.com/sports/baseball/rays/article1015753.ece   Thankfully, Dutchess County officials are exerting pressure on the team to cancel the promotion due to concerns over litigation, and the New York Lottery has withdrawn its sponsorship.  http://www.google.com/search?q=poughkeepsie+renegades+ladies+night+promotion&rls=com.microsoft:en-us:IE-SearchBox&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&sourceid=ie7&rlz=1I7ADBR

Kudos to Dutchess County Senior Assistant County Attorney Keith P. Byron, who wrote the Renegades and provided guyinists with a legal roadmap.  An excerpt follows:

“At best, the promotion is in poor taste. However, I write to warn that the promotion likely violates the New York State Human Rights Law and probably violates the guarantee to equal protection under the laws contained in the 14th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution,” the letter reads. “New York State Human Rights Law (Executive Law Section 296) expressly prohibits discrimination on the basis of gender in any place of public accommodation. Clearly, your plan to prohibit admittance based on gender runs afoul of this provision.”

Personally, this promotion strongly reminds of when male strippers are performing, and guys are only allowed in after the strippers are done.  

Anyway, this invidious incident demonstrates the need for a Guyinism Legal Offense Fund.  If anyone would like to tackle this project, please contact me.  In the meantime, if any of you guys wants to file a lawsuit, you will win automatic induction into the Guyinism Hall of Fame, and hopefully some attorneys’ fees.  Judging by the number of outraged guyinists commenting in both the articles linked to this post, it should be quite easy to find a plaintiff, or, if you are near Poughkeepsie, become one yourself by buying a ticket to the game.

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The brutal murder of Steve McNair shows that no guy, not even a 6’2″, 235 pound, black, former professional football player, is safe from dating violence at the hands of today’s aggressive, narcissistic, and substantially insane young women.  While the motives of the assailant, with whom Mr. McNair was apparently carrying on a relationship supplemental to his marriage, are at this time unclear, we can safely assume that if a legal right to choose were available, McNair not have been forced into such a dangerous situation, replete with jealousies and outsized financial motivations, merely trying to meet his physical needs.

McNair’s tragic and untimely death should serve as a clarion call to all guys  – we cannot let his death be in vein.  Have you ever heard of a high-end hooker committing murder/suicide with one of her clients?  Doesn’t happen.

We must stand up for our right to choose willing sex partners.  Now.  Before more of us die.

Especially since one of ”us” could be me. 

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Guyinism issued an official statement to the New York Times on the resignation of Sarah Palin as Governor of Alaska:  “if this nincompoop were a guy, hardly anyone would have ever heard of her.  “

Surrounding commentary can be found at http://community.nytimes.com/comments/www.nytimes.com/2009/07/04/opinion/04collins.html?sort=newest?sort=newest&offset=2  if you look really hard – I wouldn’t bother if I was you.

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Today I learned a new prerogative women have apparently reserved to themselves:  screening calls.  I was IMing a chick on OKCupid.com who had responded to me, and after she gave me her number, she told me that she might not pick up since its a girl’s prerogative to screen calls.

I’m still trying to figure out what one’s sex has to do with the propriety of screening calls, still trying to guess what’s the next prerogative women will reserve for themselves, and still suspecting their end goal is a sort-of reverse Saudi Arabia, where guys are allowed to drive, but only to work – at jobs women don’t want to do.

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I normally don’t read movie reviews in much detail until after I’ve seen the movie.  Before the movie, I might peruse the review to see if the movie is something I could even possibly like, and to generally exclude those that get the thumbs down. 
 
After the movie, particularly if its one I’ve liked, I’ll consume the review in great detail, largely to receive confirmation about my own feelings about the movie.  This is somewhat ironic, since I largely believe the traditional structure of the what we receive expert opinions on versus public opinion is reversed.  For instance, we survey the general public about complicated issues of national policy about which they have no idea, and use those opinion polls as the basis for legislative decision-making, and even foreign policy.
 
On the other hand, we send one guy into a restaurant whose taste buds are no better than anyone else’s to tell us whether the restaurant is good, when what we should really be looking at his is how crowded the restaurant is.  The situation is somewhat ditto for movies – at least we should be looking at how crowded the theater is after the first weekend, when some of the effect of the pre-premier hype has worn off.
 
Anyway, my review of The Proposal is this:  I like the movie even though its a chick flick, but:
 
1.  Seeing Sandra Bullock naked is no reason to go.  First of all, you can’t see any private parts.  Second, she’s old enough to be my sister, which at this point is not a good thing.  Yes, she still looks good, obviously having had a lot of work done, though I never thought she was hot even when she was younger.  But its not exactly like she looks good enough where I’d wanting her sitting on my face – unless I was rolling on E.  On top of that, she plays a cunt - so its just not believable that a rich guy barely half her age rich would fall for her.
 
2.  The movie serves as the final admission, as if it were still necessary, that the bulk of contemporary American women are whores, as if you didn’t know already from seeing so many rich models end up marrying old billionaires.  Hollywood does not put out a mainstream movie such as this without extensive marketing research.  In this movie, Bullock plays a presumably around-her-own-ageish (44) successful NYC magazine editor, who manages a floor full of people.  The plot has her needing to get married immediately, so she proposes to her secretary, a tall, decent-looking-in-shape guy three years out of college.  Eventually, they end up marrying, and a very large part of his appeal is that, as Bullock learns upon visiting his home in Alaska – and as repeatedly hammered home at many turns – it turns out the guysecretary is loaded – “Alaskan Kennedys,” as the Bullock character notes.
 
In other words, Hollywood marketing has determined that in order for the movie to max its appeal as a chick-flick, not only does the incredibly successful nearly-twice-the-guy’s-age cougar land the guy, but he has to be loaded.  To the hilt.  It isn’t enough that, despite obviously not needing his money, the cougar lands a guy around half her age.   The half-her-age guy has to have big dough, now, too.

 If you’re a reverse cougar like me, don’t see this film, at least not with a date.  My date was 25.   Less than two weeks before she had given me a lap dance in a strip club.  When I left her after dinner after this movie, she evaded a kiss on the lips.  We haven’t communicated in the three days since.  Based upon the age difference between Bullock and her co-star, I can only assume my date, whose idea it was to see this film, would have preferred to be on a date with a five-year old Kennedy-type –  perhaps a Jolie-Pitt. 

Meanwhile, it appears that we are still giving favorable treatment to white women in employment, so they can have better jobs than they deserve in addition to being born on third base by having vaginas.  And the future for most guys is going to be like what?  Where does it end?

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