Two reasons to give thanks

November 29, 2009

As recently reported in The Wall Street Journal (“Deep in the Forest, Bambi Remains the Cold War’s Last Prisoner, November 4, 2009), despite the lifting of the Iron Curtain, few of the deer along the border of what were West Germany and Czechoslovakia cross the border.  Rather, they mysteriously turn around when they approach it, despite the fact that no deer alive today would have a memory of the location of the old border.

Those few deer that do cross are males – guy deer.  Not a single female deer, many of whom are tracked via electronic collars, has ever been observed to have the balls to step-foot over the old border.

Which brings me to another recent article, by blogger Dr. Melissa Clouthier of, which made some mainstream press, and the substance of which was why fewer women than guys blog.   Clouthier put forward two reasons why there are fewer female internet-based journalists: 

1) Women bloggers are often sexualized and insulted. One famous incident with Kathy Sierra involved photoshop and personal information. Kathy quit, something I urged her not to do. She is now, though, on Twitter and I believe she blogs anonymously to spare herself the insulting misery. Michelle Malkin, Amanda Carpenter, and just about every conservative woman blogger, including me, has endured horrible personal, violent and sexual insults–very often from “enlightened” male liberal commentersand bloggers.

Most women simply do not want to put up with this garbage. They feel threatened and they worry about their safety and the safety of their children. Michelle Malkin had to actually move after her personal information was plastered on the web. She is a mother. She has children. There are nutjobs out there and in this business, there is a very real risk to personal safety. It’s something guys just don’t have to deal with as much.

2)  women often don’t like the intellectual jousting. Part of it is gender wiring. Men see verbal sparring as a testosterone-fueled challenge. Women see degraded communication and hostility. When they put an idea out there, it seems aggressive when someone rips the point of view to shreds. And, it is aggressive.

My response: 

1)  A risk to personal safety is something guy journalists don’t have to deal with as much?  Here’s a video of Daniel Pearl being decapitated:  And guys are far-and-away more likely to be victims of violent crime domestically.

2)  Of course women don’t like the intellectual jousting of the blogosphere.  When women intellectually joust in person, guys who want to fuck them and fear recrimination don’t challenge them, and guys who don’t want to deal with a conversation-stopping emotional reaction don’t challenge them, either.  In the blogosphere, guys do challenge them, and the superior reasoning ability of guys almost always prevails.

In sum, at least one major reason, if not the major reason, there are so many more guy bloggers is that, like the deer around that live near the old Iron Curtain, women don’t have the balls.  We do.

One can debate whether its better to be a woman or a guy.  From my vantage point, it seems like the sex that, as long as they don’t choose to be fat, can get the other sex to support them and not have to work and can have sex with someone passable just about whenever they want for free  – and has so many other advantages such as hiring preferences, loan programs, military benefits without military responsibilities, etc. - has it better, but some reasonable guys differ on this point (though I’ve observed that those that disagree with me seem not to have thought about it much, and I’m the freakin’ Jesus of Guyinism).  Either way, imagine either how much worse our lives would be if we didn’t have, or how much better our lives are because we do have, balls.

On this Thanksgiving, the John Kruks among us notwithstanding, whether they are big in size or small, whether they are shaved or you still haven’t listened to the first thing I told you (see Welcome to The Balls Monologues), whether women drain them regularly for you or if you usually have to go it alone – we guys at least have two reasons to give thanks - two major reasons.

Those two reasons are, of course, our two testicles, our dos cojones, our deux valseuses.  In any language, in any euphemism:  our balls. 

Happy Thanksgiving, guys.


PS  OK, I admit it - some guys have it better than women.   Derek Jeter just walked into the Starbucks that I wrote this post from.  But remember another one of the first things I told you, way back in Who is DirkJohanson?:  great player, seems like a great guy, but this blog isn’t for guys like him – its for guys like us.

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One Response to Two reasons to give thanks

  1. [...] a few weeks ago, when Derek showed up at the Starbucks on Bay Street in International Plaza (see Two reasons to give thanks), he immediately garnered all sorts of attention, and I sat there continuing to be almost entirely [...]

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